The Development of Social Skills

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Learning disabilities and Social Skills-Our ability to interact and develop relationships with those around us is not fully realized until we are able to listen and communicate effectively. If a child has any type of social communication problem, including Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), the ability to connect with others will be affected. More

Reinforcing social skills in the home One of the most important roles that parents play in their child's development is that of teaching their child social skills. These social skills include daily interaction skills such as sharing, taking turns, and allowing others to talk without interrupting. More
 

ABOUT OUR SOCIAL SKILL GAMES  

It is easy for a parent to start a social skill group near you using these games.   
These games teach real time applications of several key social skill group themes. 
For the benefits of cooperative games click here  

These social skill games are highly recommended for family, group and classroom use.  

Awards from Dr. Toy and Canadian toy ratings are listed at the bottom of the entry. Playing co-operatively, players will see how encouraging replaces pushing and how ability and strength are used to help rather than push others out of the way.

Games 7 and UP  and  Games for 3 & Up. See Our Skill Comparison Chart 
We also have a section of games "not just for kids" Games 10-Adult

Why are Social Skills Important?
Social Skills are the foundation for getting along with others.  A lack of Social Skills can lead to behavioral difficulties in school, delinquency, inattentiveness, peer rejection, emotional difficulties, bullying, difficulty in making friends, aggressiveness, problems in interpersonal relationships, poor self-concept, academic failures, concentration difficulties, isolation from peers, and depression.  Children with learning disabilities, sensory integration difficulties, Asperger’s Disorder, Autism Spectrum Disorder, neurological disorders, and emotional disabilities often need additional training in Social Skills.  They will likely benefit from direct instruction in Social Skills Groups led by trained professionals and the availability of a safe environment in which to practice newly learned skills.

Does formalized research support the concept that individuals with learning disabilities have deficient or ineffective social skills?

Yes. The research indicates that individuals with learning disabilities:

• are more likely to choose socially unacceptable behaviors in social situations
• are less able to solve social problems
• are less likely to predict consequences for their social behavior
• are less likely to adjust to the characteristics of their listeners in discussions or conversations
• are less able to accomplish complex social interactions successfully (i.e.. persuasion, negotiation, resisting peer pressure, giving/accepting criticism, etc.)
• are more likely to be rejected or isolated by their classmates and peers
• are more often the objects of negative and non-supportive statements, criticisms, warnings and negative nonverbal reactions from teachers
• are less adaptable to new social situations
• are more likely to be judged negatively by adults after informal observation
• receive less affection from parents and siblings
• have less tolerance for frustration and failure
• use oral language that is less mature, meaningful or concise
• have difficulty interpreting or inferring the language of others

If a child has a learning problem, such as a language or auditory processing disorder, he may have difficulty understanding what another person says or means. He might also have trouble expressing his ideas in speech. Either of these problems can interfere with interpersonal communication.

A child who has Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD) may be inattentive, impulsive, hyperactive – or any combination of these. If he’s inattentive, he may have a hard time paying close attention to other people’s speech and behavior; his mind may wander, or his attention will be drawn to something else going on nearby. If he’s impulsive and/or hyperactive, he may interrupt others when they’re speaking and may find it difficult to wait his turn. While such a child doesn’t behave this way on purpose, others will likely be frustrated or offended by his behavior.

Elements of social skills

• Social intake — noticing and understanding other people’s speech, vocal inflection, body language, eye contact, and even cultural behaviors.
• Internal process — interpreting what others communicate to you as well as recognizing and managing your own emotions and reactions.
• Social output — how a person communicates with and reacts to others, through speech, gestures, and body language.

Learning Disabilities and Social Skills:

Our ability to interact and develop relationships with those around us is not fully realized until we are able to listen and communicate effectively. If a child has any type of social communication problem, including Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), the ability to connect with others will be affected. To be an effective communicator, either on a playground or in the boardroom, we must be able to hear, discriminate, and understand what is being said. A learning disabled or autistic child must be able to read the visual cues in the other peoples expressions, as well as, being able to catch the inflection in ones voice in order to make sense of what was said. We also must be able to notice and comprehend subtle exchanges, such as those involved in sarcasm or humor, and to "read between the lines" in order to determine the hidden meaning in what was said. Otherwise the life of the learning impaired is filled with social blunders that are frustrating and embarrassing.

APD often has a dramatic impact on a persons ability to engage in social communication. Therefore, the earlier we gain social skills the better off we are. Even something as simple as show and tell in preschool and kindergarten requires good communication skills. It involves being able to demonstrate and to talk about something of importance. It also requires good listening skills. Using words and language to share in learning and executing those delicate steps in simply connecting with other children can be difficult and embarrassing for the learning disabled child.

Most social communication in elementary school occurs on the playground and in the lunchroom-both places are very noisy. The child with a processing skill deficit may not notice that his inability to discriminate and interprete speech, especially in noisy places, may make it difficult to interact socially in those situations. His input in conversations may end up off topic or inappropriate. He may have difficulty processing and interpreting a joke that was told and therefore was left out of the uproarious laughter. He may not understand what constitutes humor or how to use inflection in his voice to get the delivery of a punch line just right. Therefore any attempt at humor ends up in heartache. His attempt to "be part of a group" or to entertain his peers are often met with blank stares or laughter directed at him instead of with him. Children with right hemisphere based processing deficits may often compound that with difficulties in social judgment and inappropriate behavior as a response to their peers. Simply put, some attempts at socially connecting with another human being may become devastating to their self esteem and emotional well being. This makes trying to communicate into a chore instead of a pleasure.

"But we can neither hide nor run away from the social communication difficulties that can accompany APD. We wear them like an ill fitting coat, and they are apparent to anyone who looks carefully enough at us. of all the difficulties that arise from auditory processing problems, those that impact our ability to interact with others strike the deepest, hurt the worst, most demean ourselves in our own eyes." Terry James Bellis Ph.D.

Even if we ignore the other aspects of learning difficulties with APD, this should be reason enough to emphasize early identification and intervention. Because unless there is some intervention, the social struggles on the playground and in school will carry over to the workplace. 

Reference: Bellis, Terry James Ph.D., When The Brain Can't Hear: NY, Atria Books 2002

Since social skills depend on being able to process and discriminate speech and conversation-The Listening Program (TLP) could be the intervention that you need. The Listening Program not only develops better auditory processing and communications skills, it also helps those with difficulties in regulating mood and frustration levels due to auditory processing difficulties. 

                                                                            
Researchers have found that the musical portion of the brain is frequently unimpaired in a child with low receptive language and low or even no expressive language. There is a direct correlation between the musical portion of the brain and the language area in the opposite hemisphere in children. Filtered and gaited musical sound patterns can lead to a better understanding of language sound patterns. Therefore the use of The Listening Program will ultimately translate into better communication skills . 

                                                   A music-Based Auditory Stimulation method that trains
the brain to improve the auditory skills needed to effectively listen, learn and communicate.  15-30 minutes a day                 

• The typically developing child
  
• Individuals experiencing listening, sensory, learning, language, reading, attention, memory, social, communication, and auditory processing difficulties
  
• Those interested in improved communication and speaking skills, musical ability, learning potential, and creativity

Click here for more information

From the Creators of The Listening Program;

Social Skill listening 
Sound Health CD's

Early auditory stimulation is crucial to a child's cognitive and language development. These recordings are designed to improve ear and brain function while providing a delightful listening experience.  The series currently includes CDs for each of the following purposes:  concentration, thinking, learning, productivity, relaxation, de-stress, and more coming soon.   You'll be amazed how great you'll feel after listening to these! The whole family can use these CD's. 

Play these Cd's during social group activities and judge for yourself! Teachers are you allowed to play music in your classroom. Try playing one of these selections to witness the effect. Many children have reported better focus and concentration by listening to this type of music while studying and doing home work. Why not try one in your class room?

NOTE: Our social skill instructor always makes sure we have this music playing and that the children have used their theanine products. Those are the two things that have proven to be effective in group settings.

Reinforcing social skills in the home:

One of the most important roles that parents play in their child's development is that of teaching their child social skills. These social skills include daily interaction skills such as sharing, taking turns, and allowing others to talk without interrupting. The category of social skills can also be expanded to facets of self-control such as appropriate anger management. For many children, social skills are learned by observing how others in their environment handle social situations. These children then imitate desirable responses such as turn taking and little thought is given to how the young child became so adept at playing board games, cards, or other activities that require a child to wait for others.

For some children, however, more direct instruction is needed to help them develop appropriate social skills. A parent should rule out auditory processing disorder (APD) before start a social skill program because communication and auditory problems may be the root of the problem.  APD checklist
See the Learning disabilities section above for more info on auditory processing issues and social skills.
One framework that can be effective in teaching parents how to encourage their child's social skills development is referred to in our clinic as the “4 P's” approach (Christophersen & Mortweet, 2003). The four P's stand for Practice, Praise, Point out, and Prompt. The purpose of the four “P's” is to break down the skills into concrete components that the parent can easily teach to their child.

Guidelines for implementing this program:
Parents should realize that the process of learning a new skill takes all children some time, and can take some children longer than others. 

Each step must be used consistently and repeatedly for the child to be successful.

Parents must also focus on the skill building aspect of learning versus punishment, as many social skills usually do not get better in spite of repeated attempts to discipline children for not exercising them. 

Finally, parents must also have realistic expectations for their child's behavior.

4 Ps: Practice, Praise, Point Out, and Prompt Application to interrupting
The 4 P strategies applied to interrupting are:

Practice an appropriate behavior. Tell your child you are going to try something new for when he wants to talk to you when you are talking to someone else. Show your child how to gently place his hand on your forearm as the signal to gain your attention without interrupting. In response, put your hand over your child's hand so he knows that you have seen his signal. Practice by pretending you are talking to someone and ask your child to use the signal skill, prompting as much as necessary. The moment he places his hand on your forearm, stop your conversation, gently place your free hand over his hand, and immediately ask him what he wants. You can then begin to extend the time between the signal and when you respond but certainly try to respond as quickly as you can so your child learns an alternative to interrupting. An explanation about what you are doing, without any negative references, is appropriate periodically. 

You can also practice skills by setting up conversations at home or in public with dad or other caregivers. Phone conversations can also be contrived (e.g., grandma knows you will be calling and that you are working on the not interrupting skill) or you can simply pretend like you are talking to someone on the phone as another practice opportunity. Continue to practice the new skill (placing her hand on your forearm) a couple of times each day for the week or two that it takes to establish the new skill. Over that time, gradually extend the length of time between when the child places their hand on your arm, and you place your hand on their hand, and when you stop your conversation to ascertain what they want.

Praise or reward the child for practicing. Your child may not particularly enjoy learning this new skill and may resist your efforts to have her practice. Thus, incorporating a reinforcement system for practicing skills (and for eventually using the skill appropriately) is very important for the practice to work. The reinforcement can be as simple as a “high five”, but should also include rewards such as reading an extra bedtime story that day or playing a game with the child for cooperating with the skills during practice sessions.

Point Out the behavior in yourself and in others. Most young children won't notice you waiting to take your turn in a conversation. So, if you are standing in line at the grocery store, point out that you will wait until the lady in front of you has finished her conversation with the clerk before you start to talk to the clerk. You can also point out examples on children's television shows and in their storybooks. Examples abound in the real world of people waiting for their turn to speak.

Prompt your child when the behavior would be appropriate. As your child is learning the new skill of not interrupting, prompt your child to use the new skills when you see opportunities for him to do so.

For example, if daddy is talking on the phone, prompt your child to go over to him, place his hand on daddy's forearm, wait for daddy to place his hand on top as a signal that he will soon be asking the child what he needs. Dad, in turn, would praise or reward the child for practicing the appropriate skill and behavior.

Reference

Christophersen ER, Mortweet SL. Parenting that works: Building skills that last a lifetime. Washington, DC: APA Books; 2003.

Parts of this manuscript were presented during an invited Workshop on Managing Child Behavior Problems by ER Christophersen at the 2002 American Academy of Pediatrics' National Conference and Exhibition in Boston, October 2002.

Condensed from Developmental and Behavioral News, Autumn 2003. Published by the AAP Section on Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics.

More articles on social skill development
Finding Friends and Persuading People: Teaching the Skills of Social Interaction, (1987) By Dale S. Brown. How parents can teach their children social skills.

Social Competence and the Child with Learning Disabilities, Richard Lavoie, Teacher's Guide to Last One Picked ... First One Picked On, 1994 - Richard Lavoie explores common questions related to social skill development in children with learning disabilities. He also defines the social autopsy.

"Dos & Don'ts" for Fostering Social Competence, Richard Lavoie, Teacher's Guide to Last One Picked ... First One Picked On, 1994 - Richard Lavoie outlines specific techniques for parents and teachers to use to encourage the social skills of their children and students.